Dear Diary,

Sorry to be so unavailable, things as usual with family holidays getting slightly out of hand. Food, family, kids, the works.

Spent several nights in a row helping my aunties do all the cooking, yesterday was the earliest day I went to bed, at around 1:30am... I totally went off my gluten-free diet today, and already I am feeling like crap. It so certainly makes a difference.

Yesterday was M's birthday and I ever so briefly thought about it... makes me sad, somewhat sad even to think about how hard the past two Christmases were for me, but, I suppose it is getting better little by little.

I would like to think that I am better than I have been in the past few years, but I am concerned about what came up earlier this week with Shelby and the places I went with his mysterious phone call. I'm not fooling myself and want to heal that part of myself that panics. I'm still not sure how to do that.

Work for 2010, I suppose.

Love,
Duck

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