EXCITEMENT [ 2004-03-09, 3:37 p.m. ]

Well guess what I did today?

I registered and put down a deposit on the training! Felt kind of scary, and crazy, because I don't know how I'm going to swing it with work.

Told this to my therapist, and she suggested looking at it as EXCITEMENT. Oh, good idea... because either way, my life is going to change. Either I'm going to the training and coming back to the same job, but changed because of the training; or I'm going to the training and coming back and getting a new job. Ta-da! (I realize this is the second time I've said "ta-da!" in two consecutive entries, but dammit, for some reason I am really liking it, the whole magical quality of it all).

Felt pretty good post-therapy. Went out, bought sushi and two new books. That's right, I BOUGHT BOOKS, which I hardly ever buy. So you know I'm feeling better.

Spoke to Frank briefly before lunch. Just a short conversation about how our days are going. We have not had any sad sad sad conversations since Friday. I really don't know if that means we are out of the woods, on hold, or still in crisis but ignoring it. I'm trying to think positive.

And now I am actually going to go do some work, and organize my calendar so I will not fuck up anymore at this job, to prevent me from being fired at least until June.

Thanks for all who have been praying/thinking/holding me in their hearts, I so appreciate it and I do feel better today.

Love,

Duck

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