Dear Diary,

Well, to compound matters after the not-so-great date, this is the email I received when next I returned to my computer:

"Hi,

I forgot your name, can you believe that? Please sign your return email (assuming there's going to be one), and it wont (sic) happen again.

It was very nice meeting you. I felt very comfortable, with a nice edge due to a distinct dose of chemistry. I also felt the corner of your lips with mine and wanted more all the way home.

I hope your meeting goes well, and I get to see you again sometime soon.

BadDate"

Um, what? Well Mr. BadDate, perhaps you forgot my name because you talked right over me the whole time, never even letting me finish a sentence! Not to mention the creepy way you had to tell me all the weird sexual things about yourself (who in their right mind thinks it's appropriate to brag about their sexual prowess and hypersensitive nipples over eggs benedict to someone they've never met before?!).

And now, to top it off, you're so clueless and delusional that you think we have a "chemistry" and my peck on the cheek makes you think this can go somewhere?

Ew.

Ew.

Ew.

Run away screaming, Duck, run away.

After some deliberation, I wrote back this:

"Hi BadDate,

No, I cannot believe you forgot my name, why is that?

Thank you very much for brunch/lunch.

To be honest, having lunch I am realizing that wounds from my last relationship might not be as healed as I thought. So I guess I'm not feeling as romantic as I'd hoped. I feel it would be unfair to lie about this, and don't know if you would be cool more on the friendship tip. But your message implies "wanting more" so I feel like I should say something now. I did have a good time and is always pleasant to have such open-minded conversation especially right off the bat.

So I will leave it at that and you can tell me how you feel.

Thank you again,

Duck"

I thought that was the nicest way to do it. It's not exactly false, but I figured if he pressed me, I would just say I'm not attracted to him and that he talks too much.

This morning, he replied and said he understood, also that he might be a big help to me and all my "issues" (great, thanks) and that really his time was very precious and he was devoting it to finding a certain kind of relationship. He gave me a different email address but I noticed also that he completely deleted his profile. Weird.

Ew.

I'm not sure I'd want to do this again.

I hope, at least, that it's entertaining to somebody out there!

Duck

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