Dear Diary,

Sunday morning I had brunch with Dan, before I went to work for Talia (that's why I was gone all day and missed the package on the doorstep).

You remember Dan, don't you? You might recall my friend Sam, who brought Dan along to dinner with me one night. Then Sam left and Dan and I were alone, and finished out the meal together. We really hit it off and had a lot of stuff to talk about (see "drifting, eating, holding" entry).

We exchanged emails, etc. and talked about meeting again. He was traveling for over a month, and then we finally had the opportunity to meet up again this past weekend.

Brunch was really nice. We get along really well. Two and a half hours flew by and there were no lulls in the conversation. Made me think, geez, I wish my internet dates could go this well. Dan is pretty well apprised of my current situation, so I don't really think his intentions are romantic. But. I'm not. Sure.

Before we parted ways, we hugged. He's a really good hugger. And he hugged me for a long time. So long, in fact, that it worried me a little. Made me. Not. Sure.

There are a couple things that bother me about Dan. One is, I am sorry to say, he is of similar background to The Prick, whom I dated a few years ago (the "reservoir dogs" entry). Sometimes he sounds exactly like him- Dan's accent, no verbal abuse... but still... it unnerves me. And I wonder if Dan's of the same mind that eventually he wants to end up with someone of his own background. I hate to think of myself as a prejudiced person, or have I just been burned?

And, the other thing is, I know I am just not ready for any kind of serious relationship with anyone else. Period. Really. While I was reading online profiles, any guy who wrote anything cheesy about romance or long walks on the beach just made me want to hurl. I am so not into it.

Confession: I would take Frank back in a minute. Maybe there is still a part of my heart that is holding onto that. Okay, human. So I really just want some casual dating time. No pressure about where it's going. No trying to push it somewhere it's not going to go. No imagined "chemisty" a la Mr. BadDate.

I know. The two paragraphs contradict each other. So, maybe Dan would be a good choice, if he was just willing to hang out and be casual. But I don't want anyone to start loving me and stuff.

Do I?

Dan called last night to say he really enjoyed brunch and blah blah blah. Then he asked me what I was doing, and what I was doing with the rest of the week, and where do I work etc. It suddenly dawned on me that it was one of THOSE conversations when someone is trying to get to know you.

Kind of. Freaked. Me out.

Is this ok?

Duck

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