Dear Diary,

Finally able to write. Today was my last day at work, so I took the opportunity to do as much fooling around as humanly possible. Mostly I just went around and visited all the people I would miss.

TempGirl had some questions, I really don't know how she will do on her own. But, it is no longer my problem.

I thought I had arranged a nice little quiet lunch with people of my choice, but somehow LoudTalker and NosyLyingAdministrationLady found out about it-- and they HIGHJACKED my lunch. Showed up and dominated the conversation with their nosiness and loudness. I was somewhat upset, but for the most part just tried to ignore the both of them. It was my party, and I'll be a bitch if I want to.

The whole day was soured because of an email from Frank. If you remember, he called me on Friday asking if I wanted to do something this weekend. So, I called him Saturday and told him Sunday might very well be a possibility, to give me a call around noon and we would see how it would go. I got up late (after Aleda's birthday party) and called him at like 2:30; left a message, "Hi, it's Duck, I don't know if you've changed your mind about today, but give me a call." No call on Sunday. Instead, a bizarre email on Monday... much like the break-up email, a lengthy diatribe on what Frank actually did on the weekend (planted trees) and what he has realized about himself as his journey continues blah blah blah. And he hopes I am well and that we can choose a date to get together soon blah blah blah.

I was LIVID. What the fuck? Where do I begin... instead of just calling me back as we discussed, you don't call me at all... and choose to send me a self-involved email about your journey and your activities... on a day when you know I don't have access to email so how would I read it till the next day, after waiting for you to return my call... without the common courtesy of responding to a call about a date that YOU ORIGINALLY SUGGESTED? It feels like such a mindfuck, is all, Diary... I don't understand who this person is. It seems that Frank wants me to have some compassion about the process that he is going through, but he has completely lost all his empathy for me as a person. If he were like that when we were going out, then I could at least understand. But now I feel... used, somehow... like he makes all the choices about when to dump his sad little stories, as I said without common courtesy one gives to a friend (all he had to do was call and say, on second thought, today doesn't work for me).

It was at this point that I decided I cannot respond to any more of his attempts to contact me-- every time it seems to knock me off my foundation. It is so clearly about him. If he was paying attention at all during our break-up ritual thing, he could see how much I cried and how hurt I have been by this separation. So if he thinks that it doesn't matter if he calls or not, or stands by his word, or shows me that courtesy-- but I don't think that's it-- what kind of person sends "reports" about themselves to another person, without even checking in with that person (i.e., ME) about how they are doing? It's all very messed up.

It's all very over.

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