it [ 2004-08-30, 7:22 p.m. ]

Hi Diary,

It's a little harder to update here than at the other place... I don't really have that much time to myself. But it's okay.

The trip to see Petra and Michael was great-- they took really good care of me. It's like they see me for who I really am-- and right now that person, me, is really unhappy... at one point we were sitting there, me in the middle, and they were just holding me. It's very frustrating, because I want to change. I want to be happier-- but it's like my body just won't get up to speed. Michael took me to his friend, who is a homeopathic doctor, and he gave me some supplements that are supposed to help. I'll let you know.

Don't know what I'm doing for the holiday weekend. Probably not having much of a holiday at all-- I always used to go to a big party at a friend's this time of year, but I know that Psycho, and various other people who were not very supportive of my relationship with Frank, will be there. I don't want to see their gloating faces when I tell them we broke up. I don't want to talk about it with anybody. So I don't think I'm going.

It's sad that this relationship is still affecting me this way, but I don't know what else to do. I just want to do what feels the most loving for myself right now. And hanging out with those people does not seem like IT.

Talk to you later.

Love,

Duck

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