fat, men, libido [ 2004-11-10, 11:13 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

For some reason my stomach has really been bothering me the last few days. I feel like I'm either eating way too much, and/or not digesting correctly. And I feel FAT. I know I'm not really fat, but I haven't been working out to the extent that I was just a couple of months ago (five days a week two hours a day). So, I need to get on that.

The food they serve at the seminars is great, and very healthy, so I think that will help me a lot. But I'd like to be in a little better shape than I am now... Lord knows I don't want those flabby triceps coming back.

I've been sleeping a lot better since I started taking these pills my naturopath gave me. It says on the bottle to take them about 45 minutes before you want to go to sleep. My naturopath said they are so powerful that most people need to take one, so I've been taking two. I do notice that I start to feel drowsy, and I feel like I've been sleeping better. Plus, they are all natural, and don't seem to have any side effects. He warned me that I might feel drowsy in the morning, but so far I can't tell the difference. Just sleeping seems to be enough for me, though I definitely feel like I could sleep more. I am waiting for one of these days where I can just lie in bed, but so far that hasn't happened yet.

A guy I met at the last conference I went to, Henrick, is coming to my town over this weekend. I told him we could hang out and have dinner on Friday night, and he seemed like he wanted to get together on Saturday too. Well, it actually seemed like he wanted me to invite him to stay at my place, but I just met this person, and I don't have a lot of space to share when it comes to my apartment, and basically, it just seemed too... weird. He's not coming just to visit me... apparently he had previous plans to come on business. I felt only slightly guilty for not inviting him to stay, but when it comes down to it, it's a little much. Especially since I only talked to him a little bit, and I'm not sure how much I like him yet.

Alphie is supposed to be swinging through my town on Monday, but of course I've hardly spoken to him. When I did try to make a plan of how we would get together (because I still have to work, I'm taking nearly 2 weeks off for the next seminar, so there's no way I'm asking for more time off at this point) he kind of blew me off with a "oh we'll figure it out later" attitude... okay. Maybe I will see him, maybe not. Still don't know why I should care, if the sex is so terrible. Even though Kelly said I should give it at least 6 times before I decide it's not going to work. The sex, that is. I suppose I should just concentrate on being friends. My friend Rob and I had some terrible sex many years ago, but today we are very good friends and can laugh about it. The sexual chemistry is just not there.

But I want some sex, people.

That is all I have to say.

Love,
Duck

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