Hi Diary,

Why is it when things start to get a little tough, I feel like I could just collapse? Things aren't going so well at work at all. Talia is continuously stressed out, and everyone is talking about making more changes. So rather than working part time, soon I don't know if I will have a job at all... that's what it feels like. Josie has already told Talia she may want to do all her projects alone-- that means without me, I'm guessing that she wants to make more money. The whole thing doesn't make sense, as Josie made a big stink at the beginning of December about everything changing, and what she did and didn't want to do. I can't imagine her doing the whole thing herself. She is a bit disorganized and on the whole more concerned with her social life than her work.

Regardless, that boils down to less and less work for me to do, and, therefore, less and less need for ME. I am slowly being phased out completely.

It's irritating, and a little nerve racking. I just got to the point where I can just about sleep through the night, and it feels like I don't know if my body can handle another big change. I know that jobs come and go, and sure I can find something else, but the issue of quality comes into question-- then there's the whole rigamarole of interviews, etc.-- never feeling dressed well enough, fake smile, enthusiastic act, etc. I am just not up for it, motherfuckers!

(Sigh). I am tired. I was happy here. Didn't last. Nothing does, I guess. I need to work more on my own projects but I have such severe mental blocks about stepping forward. I need help, some kind of miracle for my confidence.

Help, Universe, help!
From,
Duck

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