Hi Diary,

Well last night I didn't do all my homework and preparation for today, so I woke up a big ball of stress. What else is new? I seem to have some kind of procrastination disease. And then, last minute, I try to jam everything in and of course I forget things (like supplies for class) and end up looking ridiculous and feeling more so.

Dammit.

Anyway, I got through the day okay.

Guess what happened to me? I had two nice male-encounter experiences.

The first was, I got a ride home with Xan, who is the son of one of the women in my class. Yeah, her son. Okay, he's only 10 years younger than me. And I've had a crush on him for about 5 years. And damn, he is fine. Like, FINE. What am I to do? Here's how things have happened: I would see him, we would flirt, he would suggest we do something, so I would call him, and then he would act like he was busy or didn't know why I was calling. Little bastard.

But then, just in the last couple of months, Xan seemed more interested than not interested. He invited me to his art show, which was amazing. He suggested we have tea. One day he grabbed my thighs and said, you have really nice legs.

?

That's when I thought things were really getting interesting. And then... he went away for a month and a half. Today was the first day I saw him since he got back from his travels, and he offered me a ride home. His mother has already told me that he has met a new woman while he was abroad and that he would be going back to visit her in September. Oh well, I say, oh well. Maybe his intention is to have a little fun with me before he goes off and sees what he can create with this other woman. Kind of puts things in perspective, maybe I can just have some fun... after all, he is too young for me, but I think he's cute, and I feel like we genuinely like each other.

Then guess who I saw?

Wisconsin.

Well, I don't know. I thought he was flakey, but damn he is cute. And today he was all into me. I don't think he likes me as a potential partner, instead I think he is attracted to me... for my mind. Yes, I know that sounds bizarre. But he is really interested in my work and the things I do. And I get the feeling that he just wants to soak up everything that I know and, I don't know, download it into his head.

I don't think he is a bad person, just a little flakey.

Hmm

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