Hi Diary,

Last couple of days I've been feeling really sad about Elaine. They are having a memorial service next weekend- I imagine the crowds are too huge to announce the funeral- but everything seems a bit overwhelming- the travel and amount of people, so I don't think I'm going to do either of those.

Been getting pretty close to Emily lately- we've just been hanging out a bit, going to dinner, etc. Emily has really had it with Aleda. She can barely look at her, I've noticed. I think Aleda is starting to notice too. The other day she asked me what was up with Emily, and I said I didn't know, that I hadn't noticed. I sure don't want to be in the middle. I mean, I know I have my problems with Aleda too, and the thing is, she really doesn't get her own behavior. She's rather... entitled-acting.

When someone confronts her about her "attitude", she really doesn't get it. She refuses to think that she has an attitude- she really believes that her behavior- her faces, eye rolling, critical remarks- are justified. She seems to think that she has it all together, and has the right to criticize anyone, but no one can criticize her.

For instance, Emily and some of the chicks went out for dinner the other night. Emily has a thing about paying. She's got the best job of any of us and often will just grab the check. Well the other night she told me Aleda said, "We can pay for ourselves you know- we're not poor." Emily was kind of taken aback- she really is very generous- and she said, "Believe me, I wouldn't try to send the message that I thought someone was unable to pay for her own dinner... I was just trying to treat..." Whereas Aleda said, "Well, I GUESS I have to be CAREFUL of how I SAY things to you." But, she has an attitude in the first place and phrases things in a very bitchy kind of way. Then she turns the whole thing around and makes Emily into the uncaring and oversensitive one.

Obviously this behavior is not 24/7, or else someone would kill her. But it happens enough to be super annoying.

So today when I saw Aleda, I think she was pissed at me. I'm not really sure why. Other than I don't always return her phone calls when she likes. But I don't know how many times I have to explain about my minutes, and usually I just see her later in the day anyway. Plus I think that Aleda thinks I never do anything- I mean just becaues I work for myself doesn't mean I don't WORK, and I'm in the middle of something and don't want to answer the phone all the time. I think Aleda is part of the generation that thinks they HAVE to answer the phone everytime it rings, and gets upset with people who don't answer their phone everytime or check messages every five minutes.

Remember when you left the house without a phone, and you didn't know who called you until you got home? Since when do we have to be "on call" for our whole entire life? What a pain in the ass.

And, in other news, I stopped by Simon's work tonight. He wasn't there, but Jim was. Jim was shocked and surprised to see me. Apparently both he and Simon have changed their phones and neither one of them had my number. Jim questioned and questioned me about where I had been, since the last time I'd seen him was the time we went out for dinner in the summer. Finally I just said, well Simon and I had a fight. He said, I knew it, I knew Simon had something to do with it! I didn't tell him about Simon near-attacking me or anything like that... apparently Jim had questioned Simon, did something happen? And Simon had said no. Ashamed of his behavior, no doubt. At any rate,
it was good to see Jim.

That's all for tonight...

Love,
Duck

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