i'm getting a job [ 2006-02-07, 2:17 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

This morning, after my umpteenth nightmare, I woke up and decided...

That I'm getting a job.

(gasp)

I know, don't get excited. It will only be a temporary job. That is the plan. I will go buy two pairs of non-descript black pants and a suit-like jacket, and I will wear them everyday, and I will pay off my credit card. What else can I do?

Oh. Yes. Well.

I've also decided to ask my mother to borrow $500.

Can you believe in the whole of my life I've never asked my parents for money. I feel... ummm... really bad about it, and quite like a failure. And I kind of don't want to spoil my good record of never asking for money (kind of like if you were ever that kid in school who had the perfect attendance record and you would go in even if you were sick because you didn't want to ruin your record-- well, I wasn't like that, but you know what I mean). The other part is, it's really humbling and embarrassing, and I could use a lot more than $500, but I don't feel that I could ask for more than that without my head exploding.

Someone suggested restaurant work, but I don't think I have the stamina (mental stamina, that is) for that anymore. I just don't think I can put up with all that crap. I can barely put up with the crap from a normal job. But I need a guaranteed $20 an hour or so and knowing that it's temporary and I'll be leaving... not something where I have to pretend I want to be a waitress forever and ever.

Hell no.

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