Dear Diary,

Well, just got a call from Wis. Seems any window of opportunity to see him tonight has been closed. Do I know why? No, I do not. It is because of the mystery job. I felt a little disappointed, it's weird because he does sound like he wants to see me, at times- and then others, he fills in the gaps with how busy he is.

The conversation felt weird because we have not actually seen each other since the beginning of April. But I learned something else too- apparently he doesn't tell his friends what he does either. So, at least it's not me.

But what has come to mind around this whole Aleda thing, is the idea of expectation. Aleda expecting me to be there for her, and do what she wants me to do when she wants it, feels stifling and yucky to me.

And before I was just driving myself crazy expecting that since Wis and I made the connection we made, he should show up in a certain way and be available. When he's not around, it just makes me frustrated.

So what happens when I let go of my expectations? I really don't know what is happening with us. I don't think we're dating... officially. Maybe we are seeing each other. Maybe this is it- we just have a few nice meetings. If I can appreciate the moment, and let go of expectations, I don't drive myself crazy.

I made some suggestions about how Wis and I could connect tomorrow but he didn't really bite. That is the weird thing about it. So I'm not going to pursue it, I am going to take this time to relax and reconnect with myself, and my connection to the Universe, and if something is meant to happen, it will.

Tonight I am really looking forward to a hot bath. I have some work to do, and I'll go to bed early. I've already started packing for my training seminar that I will be leaving for next week. Could it be that Duck is getting organized? Good grief!

Okay Diary, catch you later.

Love,
Duck

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