Dear Diary,

Today I wasn't going to leave the house at all, but at the last minute Steffy convinced me to go out.

Since I have been slowly sliding into decay this week, I decided it would be okay. The clincher was having the desire to eat frosting out of the can, a clear symbol of my anxiety attacks coming back.

Tonight, we saw Aleda, but she refused to talk to us. I saw her come into the club and waved- she waved back and smiled, but did not come over. She went to the opposite side of the club and sat with Lacey. Since she had expressed the need for space, I figured she knew I was there, and could invite me over, or send Lacey over to invite me to sit with her, if she really wanted to.

Steffy decided to be brave and go over and say hello, but when she did, Aleda saw her coming and walked in the other direction- a clear snub.

Steffy is worried, and feels bad. We didn't do anything to Aleda, this is all about her own shame. We know she is having a hard time, but it seems ridiculous to take it out on us. She must be so ashamed she can't even look at us.

I can't even believe I'd even be dealing with this crap after the age of thirty.

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