anger, cookies, pain [ 2007-12-05, 1:57 p.m. ]

Dear Diary,

Nothing much to say, really. I went to bed angry, and woke up angry. Was so angry that I could spit, as they say, and I did. Cried and screamed and raged until I practically threw up.

It's good for me, as so many years of my life were spent swallowing my anger, scarfing down a box of cookies or two to keep it down there as well.

The cookies are gone and the anger is here! Anger at my parents, at M, at God, at the way the Universe has been working for me. Maybe everything has aligned so I could really embrace this anger.

I'm not feeling well today at all, I have cramps and they never seem to go away even with painkillers. It's the kind of day that I just have to get through, lounging in bed, taking hot baths, trying to nap.

Haven't heard from M today, though I know Wednesdays are one of his busy days. Gail called but I haven't even listened to her message. I was serious when I said I didn't want to talk to her. I'm getting the sense that she wants to find out what's going on, like an interesting soap opera, and she's pushing me to make demands on M so she can hurry up and find out the ending. I am not in the mood to be pushed. I'm not even in the mood to eat or walk or be awake, but I can't sleep and I am in this weird place of physical pain.

If anything else comes up, I guess I'll write about it. Till then, have a nice day.

[previous] [next]

Photobucket
S DUCKIE
archives ~ profile ~
~ email ~ gbook ~ notes ~
~ host ~ image ~ design ~