Hi Diary,

A day of good fortune and happenstance. Didn't get very far on organizing my apartment, as I got caught up in some tax things, and then had to run.

The party was overall very fun. My friend ZZ hosted and there were lots of readers there, that was the theme of the party. So I had two card readings, one numerology and one palm reading. I realized that I am doing the right thing for myself, by committing to going deep inside and doing my own work. It's like the cards were confirming my choices around a) not listening to anybody else but rather figuring the answers out on my own, b) doing my morning pages for clarity, and c) cutting cords of unhealthy fearful connection and focusing on filling myself.

On my way home from the party it started to rain. I decided to take the (wrong) bus part of the way and pick up the bus I needed at another stop- it's very complex- to try and avoid some of the rain. While I was waiting at the second stop, this guy started talking to me... we talked about authors we liked and work and various other things. We got on the bus together, and talked more, then he asked me if I wanted to get a drink. I said okay, only it would have to be tea.

So I went out to tea with some guy I met on the bus. Can you believe it? We stayed out for several hours, and he walked me home. That was it- toward the end of the walk every now and then he would touch my back like he was going to put his arm around me... maybe trying to gauge if I was open to intimate contact... but nothing happened, I gave him my email and we hugged goodbye.

Well I have never done that before. And, I don't know anything, of course- he's a good looking guy, but 10 years younger than me- I asked him his age but he refrained from asking mine, stating he felt it was rude for a man to ask a woman her age. So either he knows I'm older or doesn't care... I don't know.

Also, I don't know what I'm doing or what the "rules" are in my current situation... like, if I wanted to kiss another guy, do you think that's okay? Technically, M and I are not "broken up", right, that's what he said... but, also we don't see each other or speak to each other. I'm not really sure what that all means. Nor am I going to call him and ask him. I know my sister Delia would be screaming at me right now that I should kiss every guy who crosses my path, because this is M's wish for separation and this is what comes with separation... but, hmm.

Doesn't have to be resolved tonight. It was just an interesting turn of events. Going to the party, and one of the things one of my favorite readers told me was to nurture the light inside of myself and not worry about anything... that people would be attracted to that light. And then once I felt reassured I was on the right path, I get on the bus and there's someone whose attracted to my light. Also, right after I wrote my previous entry "you never know" about how should always wear makeup and have a clean apartment for reasons just like this! Funny, huh?

I came home and related the whole story to Red, who couldn't believe it, and said it was a date. I said I wasn't sure and am I supposed to be dating right now? He didn't know so I guess that's another thing for me to figure out. Also I told Red my theory about relationships having no rules and he listened and agreed, he admitted he was trying to make things fit what he learned to make sense of why some of his past relationships didn't work out.

Now I am tired, and it's time to go to bed.

Love,
Duck

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