Dear Diary,

Life continues on. Traveled today to come to my training, which is tomorrow. A friend from my class picked me up, David, and he had wanted to take me to dinner. He met me with a rose, and the whole thing was very confusing, since he's in the midst of a divorce. So we talked about that, and he just said he liked me and wanted to flirt with me, but he was aware that he wasn't ready for romance. Oh good. That lightened up the evening considerably.

We talked a lot, him about his situation and me about mine- both of us in a lot of pain, neither one of us wanted these separations.

At this point, I am still so unsure. I still feel some edges of fear, of the "holding on" and maybe that is the last bits of it that I still have to work on, I don't know. But I am tired, and sad, still. Life is moving on... but still.

Training always makes me feel good so I think I will enjoy that, anyway... All I can do is surrender every day, recommit to letting go. That is really all I can do. Otherwise life just does its own thing and will crush me underneath. Change is happening, and I can either roll with it or fight it and suffer.

The End. Sort of.

Met with Emily and Steffy last night. Emily showed us a picture on her phone of this guy she's been seeing (and not using birth control with). I was shocked. He's really... ugly. And old-looking. He's a little less than ten years older than Emily, but looks like he could be her father. Kind of scruffy looking and greasy. I couldn't believe it! If you could see Emily you wouldn't believe it either. She is one of the most polished, pretty women I know. I mean, naturally pretty, and she has this way of always looking fresh. All my men friends are WILD about her... she's gorgeous, really gorgeous... unbelievably so... and this guy looks kind of like he lives in his mother's basement and has some kind of funky shrine down there or something. I'm sorry to be so judgmental, but I was just SO shocked. I suppose it would be one thing if I had heard amazing things about him- then I could say, "oh well he has a great personality,", but he also sounds kind of lame in the relationship department if you ask me. A little creepy and stalkery and there's just something WEIRD about him, I can tell already.

Good thing Steffy was there because she was able to say things like, "Oh! He looks so nice! He's so cute in this picture! You guys look great together!" I really was speechless.

That's it for now; not much.

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