Dear Diary,

I know I have said this before, but waking up is the worst. There is the joy of that interim period when I don't know anything- and then there is sadness, unsureness, etc., flooding back. It sucks, I tell ya.

What can I do? I know that, as Serena told me, I need to throw myself into my own life. But it seems harder and harder to do when I am in these self-destructive cycles of not getting enough sleep and not eating well. In order to have the proper foundation for such behavior, I need to go to bed like a normal person. That seems to make sense. Things seem to get very bad late at night... it is the time when my mind goes to the darkest places.

So, step one: A regular, sensible bedtime.

Step two: Eat a more balanced diet, more raw vegetables, and take my supplements.

I did write an email to HotClient, not sure if you remember him- telling him that occasionally I am near his office, and maybe we could get a tea. I don't know, I feel like I need some kind of attention, some kind of reassurance about my femininity and desirability, something!!

I guess I'll go for a walk- not really sure if I'll go to class or not. I think it would be best to get out of the house.

Sadly,
Duck

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