Dear Diary,
Another failure of a day... yes, I know... I slept too late, I didn't do anything, haven't even gotten out of my pajamas... I was at a juncture where I was fighting with myself to just GET UP and GO to dance class- it would have been totally possible, and I just DIDN'T make myself do it.
I guess it felt easier to COLLAPSE back into whatever it is that I have been doing for the past couple of months. And I know better. I really do. Read:
"So what are the mistakes people make that seal the
deal and make it almost impossible to get someone
back?
Here are a few:
1. Acting like a NEEDY WUSS. This is a big one.
Here's the situation: One partner leaves, the other feels strong emotions of depression, strong physical cravings, and creates strong psychological rationalizations for trying to get the other back. This leads to calling, visiting, confessing love, crying, and other similar behaviors.*"
[*DUCK'S NOTE: Luckily, I haven't done any drive-by's or late night calls. One point for me!]
"Unfortunately, most people don't think for even a SECOND about what the other person is seeing. And in most cases, the second partner is already disgusted with the situation. This kind of wuss display only makes things 10 times worse.
2. Letting it destroy their lives. It sucks when you lose someone you love. I believe that humans naturally feel depressed and upset when they lose someone they love...
But the problems start when you stop living, and you let the emotions take over. Instead of staying involved with life, some people let depression and feelings of sadness control them, and wind up spiraling into even worse states of mind and body than they were in when the breakup happened originally.
3. Pining away over the person for weeks, months, or even years after the fact. Too many guys, and women, will just sit around hoping that their relationship "fixes itself". This creates all kinds of negative emotional states, unrealistic expectations, and strange vibes when you do communicate with the ex.
So what's the answer?
Well, in general, when a relationship comes to an end, you need to GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Stay busy, get things going.
Don't allow negative emotions to create a permanent belief that you'll never feel better again.
The strange truth is that if you want to cause someone who you've had a relationship with to feel ATTRACTION again for you, you're going to have to do basically the same things that you'd do with someone NEW that you meet.
And never forget the power of jealousy. If your ex learns that you're getting on with your life and seeing other people, he's FAR more likely to take a renewed interest in you.
In other words, if you sit around and sulk you're not going to become more attractive. If you call all the time and beg for forgiveness, or talk about how much you miss him, or whine and cry, this will probably only drive her further away from you.
You must GIVE THEM THE SPACE TO MISS YOU. You need to get on with your life, don't call often, play "hard to get", tease him and have fun, and let him know that you're dating other people and moving forward to enjoy your life."
Ugh... so, I know better. I am not attractive right now, even to myself. I am not acting like the person I was when M and I first connected - a confident, busy woman who was basically happy and excited and embracing her life.
Space, I guess, is not the problem. We've got plenty of space. I don't know if it's a matter of me just changing my energy...
I know I have abandonment issues, and what's come to my attention is that people with abandonment issues often attract people with "entrapment issues". How perfect. So one person feels needier and clings tighter, and then the other feels more constricted and like they need to get away.... So all I can do is work on feeling more confident within myself and resolve those feelings of always being left. Much like LilyB mentioned, if I change my own vibration, the dynamic between us will change- whether either I won't be attracted to him anymore, or he will want to rise up to meet me.
But it has to be about me, being in my own life. I already missed two calls today that could have helped my business, because I was oversleeping and sulking. So I really need to get on the stick.
Help, Universe, help. Please help me pull myself out of this hole.
Love,
Duck
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