a massage, a comfort, and a possibility [ 2008-02-16, 2:22 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

Had the best massage today from LilyB. I think I could receive it much better than the last one I got... I feel like I definitely relaxed more. I even entertained the idea that I should get massages on a more regular basis. My body is REALLY tense...

Then I went to a client dinner, with the client that got dumped recently... it ended up being kind of a long night because he really wanted to talk. I've been where he is- he's still in the shock phase, and trying to figure out why things happened the way they did- apparently his lady friend ended it abruptly, over the phone, with no real explanation. I gave him a few pointers from my own experience, but really, it's just a matter of time for him, and he may never know why. I do feel fortunate that M and I had our little "ritual" before he left my house, and that we even got to make love, with a lot of consciousness and love. Very grateful for that.

I'm so glad Valentine's Day is over. Phew. Survived another milestone! That is the last holiday for a while, and holidays whilst recently separated are a bitch...

Now, onward. I am trying to relax much more today, and just have to keep on committing to doing my meditation practices. They do help a lot. I guess certain days will be more challenging than others, and that might just take more dedication.

It also occurred to me, that there's a very good possibility that M is knee-deep in therapy himself, trying to get over his issues with FMM (ex-wife) and whatever mother issues are connected with that... before he talks to me. Perhaps, he has a similar intention as me? To clear up his own crap and see if we have a chance? What an interesting concept.

Regardless, I still have to make sure that I am clearing everything within me that gets in the way of me having a healthy relationship. Because it's been long enough, don't we think? Yes, we do!

Tomorrow is my day off, and I have two client meetings and then I begin my new training in the evening. So, I guess it's time to go to bed.

Love,
Duck

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