Dear Diary,

I�m writing from the airport, it looks like my flight is delayed. What a drag�

I guess I can�t complain about much in life. I have a lot of things other people don�t- I work for myself, have my own apartment, and pretty much do whatever I want. I guess there is one piece missing, and that piece is self-love. It�s a huge one, and I guess it can taint everything else that a person has. I�ve never realized the degree to which it has affected me before. I can just be so hard on myself.

There have been so many pieces to this journey since the end of October. They are:

1. Facing abandonment fears.
2. Looking at old deep-seated beliefs that actually sabotage me.
3. Learning how to let go of trying to control situations and people in my life, and in the process setting myself free.
4. Learning how to focus on myself first instead of serving other people�s needs before mine.
5. Realizing the extent of abuse and lack of love in my family, and how it has affected how I look at life today.
6. Learning how to love myself just the way I am.

That�s a pretty tall order, if I see it written out- a lot of stuff to look at in the span of a few months.

Maybe it�s like they say, that it�s darkest before the dawn. For awhile there I felt like it was definitely lighter, but lately it�s felt like it�s gotten kind of dark in here. In a lot of ways I feel like I�ve gone backwards, but maybe I can�t see my progress clearly.

Today, I just need a reminder that I am doing my best and everything is going to be all right.

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