checking in once again [ 2008-03-07, 2:29 p.m. ]

Dear Diary,

Just checking in again. I guess Diaryland makes me feel I have something to do, which is good. Because I have spent so much time putting my energy into worrying about M, that now I don't know what to do with my own energy and thoughts!

After journaling today I got up and cleaned the bathroom floor, with bleach and everything, which is a big deal. I even emptied out the vaccuum bag which is long overdue, since it wasn't really picking up dirt anymore.

I went through several piles of papers and shredded and sorted... so, I guess things will just come along slowly. I think maybe this whole house thing reflects my emotional situation- that it just looks like a big mess, and I'm chipping away at it little by little, and it is getting better but I can't really see it yet because all I can still see is the messiness. The organization has not yet become apparent.

In any case, on I go. I have to work for a couple of hours, and then Don's birthday party is tonight. It starts very late, so I'm really not looking forward to it. I really want to fix my sleep pattern. Plus, Don is late for everything. Last year he was an hour and a half late for his own birthday party! So I don't expect him to even be there before me. Why bother?

(Sigh). Because I told myself that I have to go out and dance and be happy, dammit!

Later,
Duck

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