letting go [ 2008-03-09, 3:28 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

Well.... no exciting news, just updating again. Now I've lost an hour, which sucks.

But the good news is, I got quite a bit of cleaning done today, in the bathroom and bedroom. Things are moving along in the rest of the house as well, although a little more slowly. I definitely have lots of organizing to do.

I think my headache was a result of just, once again, trying to control the situation with M. I was very attached to having a "nice" meeting with him, and then worried that if he didn't call me back soon enough so I could tell him, he would make a rash decision and ruin it all.

Duh. Letting go means letting go, Duck, and that means letting go NOW- not trying to formulate some perfect meeting so you can let go the way you want to in your head. Even if I never see him again, it's the fact that I let go inside myself.

Last night when Red and I went to Don's party, we ran into one of Red's friends in the front of the club. Red briefly introduced us - later I remarked that I thought he was cute. Tonight on the phone Red asked me if I wanted him to set me up with Sanchez. What a cutie. I said sure. So besides my "date" on Wednesday, I hope to have another one with this guy... I have never had much success "looking" for someone to date (specifically online- if you've been reading my diary long enough you'll remember some very messed up blind dates that I've been on!). But, what the hell.

So, I rarely ever do things perfectly, and that includes letting go, I guess.

Enough self-evaluation... I have to go to bed!

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