#2

"... A woman's attitude, personality, and behavior and the emotional response these trigger in a man are much more powerful determinants of male attraction and bonding than her looks, no matter how definite a man's physical type seems to be."
-- Women Men Love, Women Men Leave

Well that was nice to read...

What I have learned from reading this book is that I am a "Woman Who Gives Too Freely"- no doubt a result of having a poor personal boundary and very low self esteem... it's all about not overgiving when it comes to men, apparently.

So, rather than beating myself up for making some mistakes in the past, I guess I can just take this info and move forward- in whatever way. It supports my feelings about not giving M much when I see him- just the shirt and razor he forgot at my house. Also, I like what they say in this book about maintaining a "positive self-containment". This does not mean I will not be authentically myself, but rather than spilling out all over the place and smothering him with love and gifts, I can maintain a strong sense of myself.

Red told me I am overthinking this whole thing, and I don't doubt it. But I also want to have compassion for myself; I know that the reason I'm thinking so much is because I have been very hurt and I'm trying to protect myself.

And onward...

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