Dear Diary,

A good day at work. Got a lot done. Originally I was not looking forward to it at all, but my mood quickly changed. It's pretty good for me to work because I realize it's the few hours of the day when I don't think about M at all! Good thing I'm also working tomorrow.

I seem to be going in and out again and again... feeling good and then feeling bad about myself. I really just want peace- relief from driving myself crazy!!! I am so tired of feeling bad about myself. I feel like I can't even sort everything out, so I'll try it here by making a list.

Things that confuse/upset me:

1. M doesn't call me.
2. Thoughts of M being with other women.
3. Thoughts that I will never find anyone who "matches" me ever again.
4. Feelings that M doesn't need me anymore.
5. Feelings that M is separate from me and has needs and experiences of his own.
6. Feelings of being alone and missing out.
7. Sadness around having no lover to connect with.
8. Judgment about myself and my lovability.

Ugh. It just keeps getting deeper and deeper. When will I feel better?

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