Dear Diary,

An okay day... kind of exhausting. Did a lot of journaling, reading and writing (the "homework"). Then I got ready to go- I had to drop off a bunch of books at the library and go to the hypnotherapist today.

One of the things I was planning to do was more anger release, but as usual I never seem to have enough time to do anything. But I said, oh, okay, if I do five minutes... and the rage was right there. I was surprised. There was no choking, and no holding back- it just boiled up and came out, and I realized how ALIVE I felt- it actually felt really good to release it and just feel so much energy in my body.

Yup! Everyday, got to keep that anger moving.

The hypnotherapist was an okay experience. I find my mind trying to interfere, and wonder if I am indeed hypnotized, but yes, it appears I went into a deep trance state. I am still unsure as to what exactly it does or how it will help me, but I guess I will just feel into it for the rest of this week and see how it goes.

Afterward I stopped by a friend's presentation, which felt a little overwhelming. I was glad to come home. Just had a phone conversation with Keith and then Red- what would I do without my two favorite men? I don't know.

Now I'm ready for bed. As far as the emotional front, I'm doing pretty well. Today my assignment was to write about all of M's faults (taking him off the pedestal). I was surprised at how quickly they flew out of my pen. I have never really criticized him and of course I accept him for human- but, I guess there are some things that just make him like the rest of us. It's good for me to see him and stop projecting perfection on him. Because I'm certainly not perfect... and the more I project perfection on him, the more I judge myself. And I'm kinda tired of doing that.

Anyway... that's what's happening right now. And hopefully soon, I will be asleep.

Love,
Duck

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