Dear Diary,

A day of incredible laziness morningtime/afternoon laziness. Well, you know, I do have some errands and therapy today and I'm working tonight, so I guess I'm not THAT lazy in the second half of the day.

I felt pretty good waking up... at least I'm not raging first thing in the morning. Unfortunately, I was feeling pretty bad because I went to buy my ticket to go see Keith, and the prices have tripled. There's just no way I can do it! So that's out. I guess I'll have to stay home and work all summer... oh well... pay off some debt anyway! Nothing wrong with that.

I did start to feel sensitive about a couple of things. I saw Red online and messaged him, and he just wrote back, "Not now, okay?" I said ok but I think immediately went into that place of rejection. Rationally I know that he is probably very busy to respond like that and he normally spends tons of time with me listening and talking about any old thing... so I know I am overreacting and that is just old stuff, this easy feeling of rejection. Doesn't mean that it's easier to deal with, but, there it is.

Also, I found out that Aaron is "friends" with Louie. I'm not really sure how anyone CAN be friends will Louie, but let's just say there is an association there. Well that kind of bums me out because I feel like Louie has nothing good to say about me, (just as I have very little good to say about him).

Oh well I seem to be all sensitive today and worrying about what other people say or think about me and that is a sign of beginning to slide down the slippery slope of dangerous not liking myself! So I need to stop! The reality is that those things are all about the other people- what they think or feel- and I just myself and that's all I've got to work with. Jeez.

So, on that note... I need to get ready and rush out the door...

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