worry [ 2008-04-11, 2:42 p.m. ]

#2

I am aware that I can be my own worst enemy.

For some reason, putting my laundry away makes me depressed. I am caught in a cycle of... something... clothing and sheets seem to remind me of M- I have such a hyper memory that I can recall so many things! Crazy, and it's not normal. This is why I want to go back to hypnotherapy. It relieved a big piece of the anxiety and I think it can help with this obsession. I don't think this obsession is at all about love but rather about something else, some kind of anxiety that chooses to focus on someone else because there's something I don't want to look at in myself.

It might be the call from Stacey that set me off. There are some complications with my next visit, and she suggested that I get a hotel room and rent a car. This would increase my expenses exbortitantly, and I'm actually kind of surprised, as Stacey is usually more than happy to help me out. Perhaps she has reached her limit, which I can totally understand (she has a part-time job and is a full-time mom to a little one...). I worry if my friends feel I am taking advantage of them?

I know I can work it all out, call other people in the area, and I'm thinking I should start to spend more time with Russell- that might break it up a bit more and make it easier on everyone. There is also a woman in my training who offered me a place to stay once, so that could end up being rather convenient.

Oh well, I tend to be a worrier. I'm sure I can work it all out and there is still time to figure out a solution. Right now I have to focus on running some errands (SO need to get my eyebrows done before I go to work!) and that will be that...

Off I go!


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