swimming in numbness [ 2008-04-18, 2:04 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

Sick of me yet? I guess on some level I am sick of myself.

Driving today, the sun is out, a beautiful day, and I feel, yes, pretty much completely numb. I know it won't always be like this... I know the tide will turn, I will feel differently, something will happen, some door will open, something will shift. I don't need to worry about figuring out what to do right now.

I guess the challenge is to just be in this numb place, rather than making it try to be something that it's not. Rather than making it "waiting to feel better" - to just dive in and swim in numbness.

This is my task.

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S DUCKIE
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