Dear Diary,

Obviously I am not going to the gym this morning... I just woke up! And obviously I stayed up too late, yet again. Not really the best idea since I have an all-day event tomorrow. Hopefully, that no-sleeping thing won't happen tonight!

But I was awakened by dreams... now I can only remember bits and pieces of them. I was doing something with Delia, driving somewhere, but slow, and I had two pairs of black shoes I was bringing with me- at one point they were outside of the car and I had to run and get them, but she was driving so slow that it was okay. I think we were going to Keith's house- I told her in the dream that Keith had another house... in reality he lives in a kind of dump, and in my dream he lived there but he had this other house that was more like a mansion, with a pool and everything. But he chose to still live in a dump.

The second part of the dream was really weird, so please don't think I'm completely crazy. Maybe it occurred at Keith's mansion, I'm not sure. But there was one point where I was aware of looking at all these men, they were all about college-age boys and just standing, kind of knowing they were being evaluated. And they were separated from us, a bunch of woman, almost like we were on an island and they couldn't cross. And being with the women was like... being in W1tch Sch00l. I think some girls I know from dance class were there. For some reason, I was not participating in this exercise, but the "leader" told all the women to partner up, and then one of the partners had to pretend they were a man, and "fuck" the other. (This was all done with clothes on, so it was kind of like "air humping" - just pretending). And one girl, now I can't think of who she was but she was so familiar- she's either someone I know in real life or someone I've seen in movies or TV a lot- didn't have a partner so she was hanging with me, and then we were pretending she was giving me a bl0wj0b. (Again, clothes on, not really!)

How bizarre is THAT?!

Then, all of a sudden Serena is in my face (maybe she was the teacher of this class?!) and she is asking me "What do you SEE? What do you SEE?" kind of in a poignant way like I'm supposed to be seeing the ENERGY of the people and what they are like in this situation. But I feel very caught off guard because I hadn't been paying attention and I was goofing off with my friend, so I'm kind of scrambling in my brain for explanations of what I "see". Even though I can see that some people have looser hips or a more natural ability to air-fuck their partner, I can't seem to quite put it into words.

Blip to the next segment of the dream when the mayhem seems to be over, because all the woman seem to be lounging around and lying on their bellies. But there is some ruckus because a girl has brought attention to the fact that there is actually a man in our midst, and he has his pants pulled down and he is lying with his naked groin against her leg. She seems more upset with something else than the fact that he is not supposed to be there, and as she berates him verbally there is a growing sense of disgruntlement and mob mentality on our island of women. Encouraged by our leader (again not sure who- didn't recognize her as Serena this time), we strip switches off a tree and go beating and chasing after the man to make him go away. Then I woke up.

So. Explain that one. The first part is not so strange- being with Delia and going back for the shoes- I am always having dreams of losing things, or trying not to lose them.

The "Enquirer" style dream dictionary says thusly:
"If you are changing your shoes, then it refers to your changing roles. You are taking a new approach to life. If your forget your shoes, then it suggests that you are leaving restraints behind you. You are refusing to conform to some idea or attitude. if you dream that you lose your shoes, then it suggests that you may be searching for your identity and finding/exploring who you are."

"To see your sister in your dream, symbolizes some aspect of your relationship with her, whether it one of sibling rivalry, caring, protectiveness, etc. Your sister may draw attention to your family role and sense of belonging. Alternatively, your sister may be a metaphor and actually refer to a nun. In this case, she may represent spiritual issues."

Don't know. I'm definitely trying to figure out who I am, being alone and all. And my sister was DRIVING me... taking me somewhere... and the following part of my dream was very witchy and cultish around aspects of the feminine... so maybe it is about having a spiritual experience in relation to the feminine...?

Granted, the dream dictionary says nothing about watching a bunch of women air fuck each other like men. So not sure about that one. Could be something about power?

It does have this to say about the half-naked man and whipping somebody with a switch:
"To see a naked person in your dream and you are disgusted by it, signifies some anxiety about discovering the naked truth about that person or situation. It may also foretell of an illicit love affairs, loss of prestige and scandalous activities."

"To dream that you are whipping an assailant, signifies that through your perseverance and courage, you will experience wealth and honor, despite of any opposition."

"To see a mob in your dream, represents chaos and disorganization. Your are experiencing a conflict in ideas and interest. It is time to be more assertive and take control of your life."

Well, if anything there seems to be a theme here about reorganizing my own life. And maybe I do protect the idea of M too much and perhaps he has lied or done something that I wouldn't like. I guess I shouldn't write about him fondly anymore like in the last couple of entries.

All I know is this was a very intense dream and has left me feeling kind of rattled in a way.... not sure why. Maybe the intensity of the feelings. I would most assuredly go to W1tch Sch00l if I could though!

I guess I can spend this afternoon preparing for tonight and tomorrow, that would be a good idea...
and I can go to the library today and get something new. I feel like all I do is read non-fiction books for school, and I am in the mood for a really good fiction novel. Any suggestions?

Love.
Duck

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