#2

Hi Diary,

Well today, was quite uh, rough. As you might have been able to tell by the previous entry. I was supposed to meet Carla but found the time getting later and later. I almost called to cancel. I felt so horrible. I did some anger release, and went anyway. Carla had made me lunch but I could barely eat it because I had a bowl of cereal before I left. She asked me if I wanted a hug and I started to cry. Crap.

She invited me to her summer house for a week in June. I don't know if that jives with work and everything, but then again what are summers for if you can't have a summer vacation? She says she has a big garden there and I could help her fix up the house and work in the garden. It might be lovely to have time off, with a woman friend, and just putter around be. Different? I think I could swing it. It was a nice invitation.

Then I went to have a meeting with a new client, and I can tell that it will be a good working relationship. So I think things are going well on that front. I felt kind of high, positive about myself for about 32 minutes afterward. Huh. So work is great and seems to be good for me, but my natural pull is to want to come home and lie in bed. Might need to find a balance around that.

On the way home, I stopped to get a picture frame for my print. Next I have to get the matte. I also bought a dress I looked at yesterday. I was thinking about wearing it to a wedding in July. I was so worried someone would buy it after I put it back on the rack yesterday afternoon, but I promised I wouldn't impulse shop. Today I decided I did want it, and I'm going to track down a great pair of red shoes to wear with it. So I went and bought it and two pairs of earrings besides. Now I tried the dress on again and it seems a little tighter than yesterday. No worries. I'm going to the gym. But I also realize it's probably NOT the kind of material one wants to wear in July. Dangit.

Whatever. I'll sweat, and look fabulous. That's what I do.

Now I'm home. Red invited me to go out, but he didn't get off work till late. I have no desire to be out late, not when my bed is calling me!

I did get a referral for another hypnotherapist, so I'm going to call and see if she sounds sane. Tomorrow I don't have any plans, but I'll try not to oversleep.

When my therapist told me she was going on vacation, I actually felt like I was going to miss her. Perhaps we have started to "bond", like you're supposed to- create that "reparenting" kind of thing.

Oh dear.

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