shit on a stick [ 2008-05-20, 12:37 p.m. ]

Hi Diary,

Here is my recommendaton if you, too, would like to feel like shit on a stick: stay up till 8am, finally drop off to sleep, and then have your alarm go off at 11. Ooh, it's lovely!

I tried to go to bed early- I did. But then, I'm not sure what happened! I just couldn't sleep. Next thing you know I look at the clock and it says 2:30am! So I got up and tried to be busy (someone once told me that when you have insomnia, you should get up and "do something"). I cleaned the bedroom clutter, hung up clothes, stacked my books and organized them, cleaned the toilet and the bathroom sink, and washed the dishes. Then I lay back down, to no avail. Clicked the light on again and did some crossword puzzles. That is my new thing- I figure if my mind is so crazy and wants something to do, I will give it something.

But it seems my insomnia is back full force. Truthfully this scares me. This was something I struggled with for about three years. It was soooo hard.... not being able to fall asleep till dawn. It is incredibly draining on the system not to mention frustrating to the mind. And I know that starting to worry about it might only make it worse.

Perhaps it is a temporary thing, just got screwed up these last couple of days. And on top of it, my stomach is pretty screwed up.

Today I am decreasing my food slightly to begin my fast. It is not the ideal way I hoped to feel on such a momentous day, but what can you do. Maybe my system has already started the detox process!

Luckily, B was supposed to come over to fix yet another problem with my printer, but he texted me early and said he wouldn't be able to make it this afternoon. That works out for me, since I am still in pajamas and looking like I've been crumpled up and flattened out again. The whole day might be a loss. Or I could get some weird burst of energy and do a lot of errands. I'm not sure yet. I might need to take a nap before I attempt something serious like going to the laundromat, otherwise I might burst into tears. I'm very close at this point already.

I can barely focus on this entry. Might need sleep.

Love,
Duck

[previous] [next]

Photobucket
S DUCKIE
archives ~ profile ~
~ email ~ gbook ~ notes ~
~ host ~ image ~ design ~