staying with myself [ 2008-05-20, 9:20 p.m. ]

#2

What is important? What do I need to know? There are so many directions to go in.

Today has just been about staying awake. I am falling asleep again, but trying to readjust my hours and wouldn't allow myself and afternoon nap.

I want to connect to something bigger than myself, to feel connected to the bigger part of the world. I realize that my brain has been keeping me small, keeping me distracted, and keeping me in pain. Again and again it tries to pull me into those familiar places. I have been choosing to come back to myself.

I have a feeling that this will be my homework for quite a while...

Throwing away judgment... especially about myself.

So sleepy... must go. I did well for the day. I stayed with myself. That's something to celebrate.

Love,
Duck

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