Hi Diary...

Back again... you can trust that I will update every 12 hours or so, when I am here...

Worked hard to wake myself up this morning! Boy was I tired. More dreams but I cannot remember. There is also a space I go, a half-asleep place, where I don't know what happens. I'm kind of in a dream but much more lucid and can control it. I wonder if I can hypnotize myself while I'm there.

Then I talked to Angel... cried a bunch. But I love talking to her, since she is so supportive and I feel like she reminds me of "the big picture." She reminded me of many things, that it's okay to still love M... that my heart is beautiful and to open one's heart takes a lot of courage and vulnerability... and it is truly a gift... and that it can really only get better for me from here. To keep working on myself and look at this grief as an opportunity and a gift. That nothing is written in stone, and I am always "upgrading".... that if it's not "this", then it's "something better."

So. Now I am really tired. It's always good to cry and get it all out!

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