the right frame of mind [ 2008-07-29, 2:28 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

Work today and I was tired... what can I say? Spoke with my colleague about my date, since he was very interested in hearing what happened. Well, I told him the truth. I just feel that I matched with M in so many areas in my life, and I wanted to call him, and I was wondering if I was having so much trouble finding chemistry with someone, wouldn't he? Unfortunately my friend pointed out that perhaps M didn't require as many "matches" as me... huh. Something I don't like to think about... that men can be happy with a bimbo and would pass up an intelligent woman for that? He suggested I put my intention on attracting a man who matches me in all the ways M did PLUS he wants to commit. Wow, that would be something.

On the way home I called everyone who called me during the day. Talked to Keith for a bit. While we were talking Paul called, but I didn't pick up. I was too busy telling Keith all about my current guy confusion...

But wow, he must be pretty into me. I mean we just went out yesterday. Oh, I am so fucked up.

Keith and I got cut off, it seemed we lost our signal. Evelina called and I talked to her for quite a while... and told her about what I've been (sort of) obsessing about for the last day and a half... she was very supportive.

At any rate, here I am, I'm not doing anything until I feel more clear about myself. Evelina was helpful in reminding me that patience is important and getting M back would not be dependent on me calling him today. She said, "It's better that you call him when you are unattached to what will happen, and in the right frame of mind, than right now."

Was thinking about going to the gym tomorrow, but, I can't seem to get motivated to do so. I'm going to start dancing again next week, that will slim me down a bit- I guess I'll just get there when I'm ready. Another way of me being hard on myself...

Aaaargh. Instead, I think I will just lie in the sun tomorrow. Go easy on myself.

Love,
Duck


[previous] [next]

Photobucket
S DUCKIE
archives ~ profile ~
~ email ~ gbook ~ notes ~
~ host ~ image ~ design ~