short note [ 2008-10-10, 1:06 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

It's been a long day... a long couple of days, as a matter of fact.

I've been staying with Nia and Lee. Just had my training with Serena, and trying to stay on top of things.

I feel bad most days. I guess that's just how it is for now. Someday it will be better, and maybe someday soon. I feel terrible everytime I see Grace. She doesn't talk to me in class or even look at me. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, shouldn't let it have any power over me. The fact that all of my other friends are invited to Alphie and Grace's engagement party, but now Alphie is playing this, "you hurt me, now I'm going to hurt you," game with me.

I guess it shows what an asshole he really is, that despite what a great and understanding person he claims to be, he is still the same selfish man I met four years ago. I don't know why I would expect anything different. At any rate, you can mark my words that as soon as I have something Alphie wants, he'll be calling me.

And I feel like maybe I should just devote the next year to working on myself, getting myself in a place where I am less needy and more ready to be in a relationship.

I'm so tired, I can't even write much more than that.

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