#2

Another day... another... day... survived.

Woke up late, disturbed... made plans to meet with Bethany before I realized that all sorts of things were amiss. Namely, I had five items overdue at the library, my credit card payment was due as well as my phone bill needing to go in the mail.

Nothing like putting everything off till the last minute!

I wrote out a couple of checks- and yes, the one for the dance workshop as well... lucky me...

Then left the house, went to one bank to deposit a check-
Brought my bills to the post office so they'd go out faster-
Went to the bank and paid my credit card installment in person just to make sure it got in on time-
And to the library to return my DVDs. Luckily I had renewed most of them online, and the system didn't catch it, so I only owe a dollar or so-

Then off to Bethany's, where we did some yoga together. Figuring that I will never do anything by myself, especially exercise or anything good for me, so I need to join with other people to do it. Marva showed up, and all three of us girls were stuffing our faces in the kitchen, when Bethany let slip that Howard is a virgin, which apparently Marva knew but I didn't! Well. Kind of surprising, but now everything makes a little bit more sense to me... Howard is extremely affectionate and nice, but seems a little skittish. He and Marva play around incessantly, but never go anywhere... I guess Howard's really afraid of women!

The girls and I met Howard, and Kit (Bethany's roommate) for dinner. This friendship thing is getting expensive, plus I just keep feeding my face. Last night I bought a pie. A PIE. I only had one piece last night and one tonight, but still, A PIE.

I AM A SINGLE WOMAN, PEOPLE. I shouldn't be buying pies!

And everytime we go out, it is usually to a diner-type restaurant and I have been eating burgers, cheese things... deep-fat fried cheeseburgers, whatever, you name it...

I am. Getting. Fat. No DOUBT.

My "fat jeans"? The ones that used to slide down below my hips? They are now officially SNUG.

Help!

Out of control, once again. I hate this merry-go-round, and I hate not knowing what the solution is. It's obviously a deep emotional issue, and I'm hoping I can just eat my way through it.

It's never worked before, though, so I doubt it's going to work now.

In the meantime, the best I can do is to say, I can eat whatever I want, as long as I do my anger release every day for ten minutes... hopefully that will change something.

[previous] [next]