Dear Diary,

I don't know where to begin but I feel that I should at least make an effort to update and keep on top of things.

I saw Serena today and it was quite a big day. One of my favorite things about the class was that Grace wasn't there. Apparently she and Alphie are in Europe, celebrating their engagement. I like it when Grace is not there and wish she weren't in the class at all. I am feeling like I am making more and more friends in the class and I just don't trust Grace being there. I feel like she must go home and tell Alphie everything, and perhaps they speculate about me. I know I can't worry about them anymore, and it's another thing I have to let go of, but I suppose it would be easier if they were out of my sight. It sucks to see someone every month who will not talk to me and barely makes eye contact, and who I can tell has some kind of anger at me. Apparently even when I try to make nice it doesn't matter. Nothing is ever good enough for them.

Speaking of annoying people whom I wish would disappear, Gail is now talking about moving back in with Craig (yes, we know that two weeks ago she was breaking up with him because he is manipulative, etc). Apparently they went and looked at houses together. Gail made a speech to me about how she has always been messed up in relationship, etc etc- but really I think it is about the money. She has painted herself into a corner in terms of the work she does and struggling to make ends meet. And rather than do something differently, she wants a guy to rescue her. And Craig is persistently in her life and she won't let him go.

What I resist, persists.

Stacey told her husband she wants a divorce, and he told her that marriage is drudgery and that's how it is. Ugh. I can't imagine. I suppose I'm lucky I never got any of the guys I was convinced I couldn't live without. They are now permanently sleeping in two different bedrooms, which leaves no guest bed for me, so I'm sleeping on a mattress in the living room. I sure do miss my own room! But oh well. Nothing lasts forever.

On the Elliot front: one text message today, asking what was going on. Perhaps I'll reply tomorrow. Timing is good for me.... good practice at any rate. I don't know what will become of us. But I need to be a bit more unavailable. I can't tell you how many times B has told me that!

I'm looking forward to hanging out with Stacey tomorrow, and just relaxing for the next couple of days. Sure, I have some work to do... but don't we all?

Love,
Duck

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