Dear Diary,

Got home late Sunday night, too tired to write... Monday I ran errands and worked. I did meet Elliot between appointments. I was irritated and run down because I had barely eaten all day. He bought me a banana from the grocery store and joked that I was expensive. He doesn't even know...

We kissed a couple times, but I hardly felt anything about it. Again when we kiss, especially outside in public, I am just thinking of 10 other things I'd rather be doing. I think that's a sign that things. Are not. Right.

Monday after work I went out with Marva and Bethany. We ate at a shitty little diner, but it was good to catch up. I got home late, and had to leave early to get to the airport. Then off to see the family... the holiday was okay for me. Delia and Bud were there... it makes a difference, us being together. Mo, Kevin and Shirelle did not come.

Got home on Friday night. Exhausted. It was one of the nights that I was told was "good" to call M... I almost did it, but I couldn't. I literally was one digit away from finishing dialing his number on my phone. I tried. But I got too nervous. All I wanted to do was leave him a message. Say hello, and maybe wish him well. But I couldn't do it.

Went to eat some Thanksgiving leftovers at Marva's today with Bethany. It was fun, then to work. Elliot left me several messages... he wanted to make out some more. I so can't do it. I need to have a conversation with him.

Now I am tired, and tomorrow is another long day.

[previous] [next]