Dear Diary,
Not much to report today. I slept in like I wanted to, but I also have been dealing with cramps all day. I really wanted to go to dance class, but I feel so exhausted... I struggle to figure out what is the best thing to do. I finally decided to stay home, that it is always better to rest than over-exert. I have a tendency to hurt myself when I'm physically exhausted.
After the conversation with Elliot yesterday, I have a confusing mash of feelings. One, clarity that he is not a person for me to try to have a relationship with. Two, loneliness. Desire to call but not really a desire to talk to him. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
And, strange beyond strange.... got a FaceBook friend request from... M's EX WIFE. Horrified, I am, thinking, "Why???" What is the Former Mrs. M (FMM) thinking? What does she want? Does she really think we are friends? Egad. I looked at her little miserable photo. She is pretty but miserable.
It brings back memories of M, and that is what hurts. I was so determined to love him better than she did. Now I feel ashamed, and angry. I guess it's good to know how I'm feeling, at least.
[previous] [next]