Dear Diary,

Yesterday after work I went to Bethany's. We chatted and had some snacks and then she invited me to sleep over. It was a good idea in theory, if I were a person who actually sleeps. We started by having a great time, laughing a lot and made a little food. I still had insomnia though and was up tossing and turning. I finally fell asleep around 5am and then was awakened by her cats later in the morning... so I'm afraid I wasn't very energized or very happy!

I did eventually wake up (after a hectic dream including some kind of gang war). Bethany and Kitt (her roommate) and I went out to "breakfast" - at 3pm! It made me late for therapy, but I didn't care because it has been a hectic couple of days, and yesterday I barely ate anything.

Therapy was okay... therapist is still on the "preparing me to call M" kick. I understand that it is probably too much to hope for as far as my dreams coming true. But right now we are just working through the fear of even approaching him. We spent a long time on this fear part.

I came home and started some laundry, which is a big deal as you know, because I hate doing laundry. It is such a toil. Howard came over and we did a little work. I started packing for Serena's. I still have to put some more things in the suitcase when they are dry, but I should be on my way to finishing soon.

Still no word from Swing, nor from Smitten. Actually Adam hasn't contacted me since our last date either. Paul never returned my call, but looking at our rather bland chemistry (on my end, anyway), he probably was just looking to fill up some time in which he was bored. Elliot has called a couple of times but it's always too late and ever since I talked about him to therapist I am even less interested than I was before. The only thing I feel bad about is Swing's behavior. He turned out to be pretty lame.

I did send Luke a message on FB - let's just say we have a mutual hobby and I wrote and said I wanted to ask him some questions if he'd be open to it. I figure it's better than flirting right off because I can feel him out if there really might be a possibility for anything happening. I told Red about my attraction to him and he said there is definitely no harm in seeing what's up with this guy even if he is a total player. Then again I think Red just wants me to move on and get over you-know-who.

Red says he has a surprise for me tomorrow, so I am meeting him in the afternoon....

I guess that means I should get some sleep.

Love,
Duck

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