Dear Diary,

Just a quick entry because I am tired:

Low points:

1. No official word from Smitten today. He did send a short comment on a photo I sent him, but that's it. Some of those abandonment fears coming up again.

2. A hellish day of driving and I believe that every mistake and bad decision I could make, I made it. If there was a wrong turn, I took it. It frazzled my recent blissful state, that's for sure.

3. Nia's mother was here today watching the baby, and she is annoying as hell. All I can notice is how she is always in the way, her giving is just another form of needing... and poor Nia! That woman never gave her enough space. She is really unconscious about being in other people's space. For instance, I was in the kitchen cooking, preparing the big dinner for the evening, and Nia's mom brought the baby into the kitchen, set him up with a little table and chair in the middle of the floor. The kitchen's not very big. Had him on a stool encouraging him to climb up to look at countertops. Too close to the stove while I'm browning meat and oil is splattering... I had to constantly ask her to move herself and the baby out of my way while I'm trying to cook. Washing dishes, and she throws the baby's placemat right on top of my hands.. just inconsiderate and doesn't pay attention... makes me nuts!

4. Got a little nervous cooking for everybody. I hate my anxiety sometimes, I really do.

High points:

1. Everybody at the grocery store was so nice to me!

2. I felt good about giving back to Nia and Lee by cooking for them.

3. Two dear friends called me today.

4. I was just too busy and didn't call Luke today, this extending the 24 hour rule. Nice.

5. I did not charge anything on my credit card today.

Mailed Smitten a thank you card today. Hoping it's not over the top to send a card... But the truth is he did help me, hasn't charged me and I am grateful!

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