climbing with M [ 2009-02-15, 7:35 a.m. ]

Quick, an entry:

I know I just updated last night, but I wanted to put my dream in here:

Had a dream that M and I were climbing, uh, the best description of it could be, a mountain-like object.... it was huge like a mountain, but it was made of dark wood, and very hard to climb because it was so smooth. M and I and many other people were climbing together, and M would help me be pushing me up sometimes, as he was just behind me.

We did get to the top, and there was a place one could "sign" their name.... I watched a guy do it... It was a very complex procedure involving a little wheel like a compass... too hard to explain here. But I was watching this guy do it with the intention that it was my turn next. Somehow the word "Matterhorn" comes to mind, even though this wasn't a real mountain.

In any case M had been really excited about signing his name, but it was a long wait for this guy in front of me to finish. I was determined to stay and get it done, and was worried about M getting to do it, thinking maybe he should sign before me, or I could sign for both of us. The guy I was waiting for lost the pin to turn the little wheel, which caused more complications and more waiting. There were two Indian men standing behind me, also waiting to sign, and i was telling one what was happening and he was translating for his friend, although he was speaking in French. M meanwhile had kind of given up.... he had slid down the back of the top portion about 6 feet or so... losing his place in line, and I was really concerned about making the signing thing happen for him.

So let's see, climbing to meet new heights? Leaving your name somewhere, but M giving up... me being concerned about it... All sounds familiar.

And the weird thing being that this dream, despite its content, brought back my deep heart-feeling for M, so, slightly confusing.

I don't know. I just need to rest for the next few days, stop calling Smitten or sending photos because he's not really responding to me... and just move along and let what's going to happen, happen.

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