Dear Diary,

Note to self: I must remember to pay my rent.

Also, finish my taxes this week, as well as a gift to Emily (she is here for one week) and etc. etc.

I spoke with Emily on the phone yesterday, and she's flying in today. Which is great except she doesn't really give me any notice, and then wants to do all kinds of stuff, and I'm like, um, I'm busy, busy, busy, working... so that is what's happening!

Yesterday I finished up a bit more of what I've been working on. I packed up all the stuff I bought for Keith, which I hope he is not insulted by. I bought him a bunch of stuff he needs, like Q-tips and shaving cream and a new pair of scissors and post-its and sunblock... stuff he needs and uses but is either trashed or non-existent in his house because he doesn't buy it for himself... anyway I wrapped it all up individually and put a little funny note on each one. Sometimes Delia sends me gifts that way and it is nice to open it up and have fun with it.

Most likely Keith will enjoy it because actually he is kind of a lonely person and needs a bit of support in his life. Amy, as I said, is his best friend of sorts but as soon as she starts dating someone, she stops calling Keith, then he goes into withdrawal... basically he is in love with her and considers their relationship to be his primary love relationship even though she doesn't think so.

Luckily however it seems Keith has met someone else, closer to his own age, to pal around with, so maybe he'll be okay.

Anyhow. I returned the jacket and a journal I'd bought him (they're both from China). And I did buy him a bathroom rug I had my eye on. Maybe he won't like the rug, I don't know, he lives in a pretty humid climate. But, it's a gift. I have to put the rug in a separate box, which is kind of a pain.

Had a brief chat on FB with Luke... he is halfway across the world at the moment, but saw me online and we had a flirtatious exchange. I told him to call me when he is back, and he says he will... and I should have that weekend open too!

I started organizing some papers for my taxes but then Howard and John came over. We did a review of work-related subjects and even though I was yawning in their faces it took them awhile to leave.

Afterward I spent some time on FB chatting to Elliot and flirting with another guy Jerry (that I met a few years ago and occasionally see out and about) via comments and private messages. I was literally laughing out loud, between the two of them. And it was exciting to have someone to flirt with and made me think... um... Jerry... he's not my type either but he's cute in his own way. I'm just saying...

I felt like I was ready for bed at 11pm, but waited till about 12:15am for bedtime. Still I had some trouble falling asleep (probably due to thinking about all these cute men in my life) and I looked at the clock and I was still awake at 1:30, but I must have fallen asleep soon after that. Woke up again early morning with nausea/sour stomach.... fell asleep... work up at 8ish... and slept again till 11am. It's all okay since I feel like I'm catching up on about 5 years of lost sleep, but I guess I really have to alter my diet as I think my body is detoxing and can't handle heavy food at this time... and it tells me first thing in the morning! I'm still feeling a bit off, so I'm going to see if I can eat a little cereal before I go to work.

And just a note about my profile: I changed a lot of the text to reflect just how crazy I really am... meaning my spiritual beliefs, and what I'm looking for in a guy... in a way it's really interesting. I put it right out there that it should be someone on a spiritual path who is working on himself. Period. Then I noticed that no one was really looking at my profile, and those that have looked, haven't written me or anything. But, this saves me a lot of heartache, I figure. Because usually what happens is I have a lot of exchanges with guys who have about two lines describing themselves and this whole attitude of "we'll just know if we like each other." Well, you know what? I already know that you're not for me if that's all you can come up with for your profile-

I'm a thinker, a writer, a dreamer... I have a lot to say about a lot of things, it's true... I have a lot of adventures behind me and more in front of me... and I want someone that shows a little passion. And also not some boring guy that enjoys a weird girl on his arm so he can be entertained or impress his friends. So I'm glad my profile is intimidating or whatever, because I really don't have time to meet nice, "normal" guys. I'm sure they're all very nice but just too normal for me, like Adam, who was a nice guy but really had nothing to say other than he just got his own apartment and he likes to go skiing. And as crass as it sounds, I don't want to waste my evenings with stuff like that. I want somebody who is opinionated yet open-minded and more like me.

I think before I was trying to hide a bit of that... yet still hoping to somehow meet somebody? And then I would but they already had this whole idea of who they wanted me to be already, and I smashed that everytime... I feel like that painfully insecure little girl was waiting for the handsome guy or whatever, then once she got him had to be something else to keep him interested... and I'm really just not interested in bending myself around any of that anymore.

So, good for me.

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