news from Smitten [ 2009-03-23, 11:19 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

As usual I am feeling slightly overwhelmed; no big news there.

Some mild developments: my body is a bit sore from dancing, and I feel so incredibly out of shape. I used to dance 4-6 days a week. Can you believe it? In some ways it feels like I don't even know this body I am in now- all kinds of problems where there used to be none! Now I am informed that I am hyper-mobile (super flexible) which actually creates problems for my joints, nerves, and muscles. That seems a little unfair!

Work was okay on Saturday, better than I expected, so that is a relief. I ate fairly well on the weekend- fish and salad everyday for breakfast and lunch. I had tacos on Saturday, but they were the good kind with lots of lettuce. I guess I am doing a *bit* better with the sugar issue... sometimes screwing up but for the most part, I am trying to eat something healthy first and foremost.

And, I got an email from Smitten yesterday. It read as follows:

"Duck-
I've been under. On Wednesday I found out my father has died. Been a bit emotionally roller-coastered. Please take care, and know that I appreciate your beautiful joyful self.
xo,
Smitten"

I sent him an email back, of course, that I was sorry and if he needed anything at all, he could contact me.

So- that explains why he disappeared. It doesn't have much to do with me being a terrible person at all. Me and my freakin' brain.

And, yes, I know that this is a terrible thing Smitten is faced with- especially since, from my understanding, their relationship was very bad. Smitten tried to connect with his dad, but his dad rejected him. How painful, and then to have him pass away without closure.

I called Jimmy, and asked if he had an address for Smitten where I could send him a card. Later, after dancing was done, I went with Bethany to a really cool card store, only to discover that the store was gone- closed, forever. That was disappointing, but I guess that's what's happening nowadays.

I talked to Keith afterward, and he pointed out that Smitten is actually very caring, and in his time of grief he cared enough to email me. Also, I did notice that he called me beautiful in the email. I'd like to think that's because the last time we were on the phone, he said, "Bye, beautiful," and I said, "Thanks for calling me beautiful." and he said, "You are. You are so beautiful." I think that he remembered how much I liked that, and made it a point to put it in that email.

That makes me feel good. I wish I could support Smitten; but I don't know him that well.... I guess I will just send him a card, maybe wait a few days, and give him a call. What else to do?

Keep on going, I guess.


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