angry and sarcastic [ 2009-04-19, 12:46 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

My sleep ability is officially gone. I have a hard time waking up before noon as a result.

Was supposed to meet Bethany and Howard this afternoon to help Howard go shopping for new clothes, but I knew I'd never be there in time. So I texted Bethany to just go on without me, and maybe I'd catch up to them and I would call them when I was on my way... however they both tried to call me, which just irritated me. I have been wanting a lot more space as of late, and I wish people would just take me at my word. If I'm telling you I can't make it, and I'll call you when I'm ready, then don't call me. If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called you in the first place.

Whatever.

I finally did make it out of the house, only after getting a snack together for the party I was attending later tonight, and doing a small errand (dropping off some promotional materials). By the time I got into town, they were finished shopping and we met at Bethany's house. I oohed and aahed over Howard's new shirts, which are bright and look great on him. Then Howard went off to do Howard things, Bethany took a nap while I read my book. I woke her up after a half hour as she requested, then waited an additional 45 minutes for her to get ready.

When it comes to Bethany, I understand how men can feel waiting for women all the time. M used to call me a "get up and go girl", meaning I could be ready in 15 minutes or less. He was amazed when I would throw open-toed shoes on after painting my toenails, and instead of being upset if I smudged the polish, I'd just repolish the nail in the shoe. I just brush my hair, throw on makeup, change my clothes if I have to, but it doesn't take me a long time to go!

Bethany, however, like a true feminine sort, fretted over her outfit for more than twenty minutes, took forever to put on makeup, went to the bathroom at least four times, and did who knows what walking back and forth around the apartment. I was starting to get really irritated... the invitation was for 7pm, and I didn't want to be that late, or rude at all.... this was a party for my colleague's birthday, the one that is always so nice to me, and I knew he was excited about people coming over.

As it turns out, we arrived about 8pm, and we were the first ones there! I guess it's okay that we were so late, but still, I was amazed that other people really didn't start coming in until 8:30 or 9pm. I spent a large portion of the time standing at the buffet eating absolutely everything: shrimp, cheese, veggies and dip, chips and salsa, etc. It was my dinner. Sad, but true.

My colleague is very cool but has a very conservative occupation, so the others that arrived were very conservative too. I was standing in a small group of people who, no joke, talked about the weather for over 20 minutes. I mean, what to talk about? I have never been able to do that. It is not amazing to me when the weather turns nice, or when it rains, or when something weatherly happens. That's what weather does. And now it is spring so it WILL be warmer, and we WILL have sunny days. Yes, we should enjoy it, but I don't understand how anyone can EXPOUND on it for 20 minutes. We have all seen weather before.

Perhaps I'm just a cynic.

But, this is what makes me feel so removed sometimes at these functions. I am not a good small talker, AT ALL, as you can probably guess. If you want to talk about something real, or at least something bizarre or outlandish or hilariously funny, that is something else. But really. People. Please!

It made me want to text Smitten and tell him what was going on, kind of in a "Help Me!" context. But I didn't.

Eventually a woman arrived that my colleague met through me, and we spent some time talking about other subjects, so that was better. And points for me, because I did make some bland small talk with some people about where we live, what we do, etc. Blah. Blah. Blah.

I was happy for my colleague because I could see he was enjoying himself; even though less than ten people came (he invited 90), he got a little tipsy and looked like he was having fun. He is a real sweetheart.

Bethany and I left a little before midnight and said farewell at our crossroads....

Now I'm home, feeling very full and very fat. I was thinking about trying to draw up a healthy menu for one week and just seeing if I could follow it, for ONE WEEK. It would consist of lots of protein, salads and vegetables and no sugar or wheat, very little starches of any kind. Could I do it? I wonder. First I would need to make some money to buy groceries!

I think I'm overtired, and it makes me angry and sarcastic.

Love,
Duck

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