Dear Diary,

I have been very tired, crampy and sleepless for the past couple of days, so haven't felt much like updating. But today I am feeling slightly better.

I think I did amazingly well for only getting about 4 hours of light, constantly interrupted sleep for a period of two days (!). I worked briefly on Saturday, stopped by Bethany's to borrow a piece of computer equipment, and came home. Yesterday was a big day, a six-hour presentation, which somehow I got through, popping ibuprofen all the way!!! But it worked out all for the best, and I'm happy about it, so yay.

When I am feeling really sleepless I troll the internet for cheap tickets to Smitten's city, seriously thinking that I could fly there for a day or two, get some acupuncture treatment, and come right home- that's how bad I want to sleep. People suggest going to other acupuncturists... but I have BEEN to other acupuncturists over the past 5 years and I have never experienced the kind of healing I had with Smitten. I even had David from my class give me acupuncture in the same points Smitten does, and it just doesn't FEEL the same. So there really is something about finding a particular practitioner whose energy matches mine...

So Smitten had emailed me those photos on Wednesday... I was feeling depressed about the whole thing. Then I had an epiphany of sorts where I realized I was being very negative indeed, and had placed a lot of expectations on Smitten about Doing Things Right Or Wrong, making it all up in my own head (I am reading a book by Neale Donald Walsch which helped to bring my attention to this). And I thought to myself, this is not how I want to behave, it feels bratty and like a little kid. And I also remembered what Keith said, about putting my attention on the negative or the positive. So the positive thing is that Smitten sent me photos. Okay. So I just wrote thanks for the photos. I figure being grateful is always better than being pissy that someone else isn't making you happy. We are responsible for our own happiness.

Smitten sent a link of more photos, and then another email, saying he hopes I can sleep, and when he comes he will give me treatment.... the same stuff, but again no details about when that will be. So I won't hold my breath!

Elliot called me this morning. I might see if he wants to hang out today; haven't seen him in quite a while... weird thing is he still calls me "baby" - well, okay, if you must...

I want to go outside.

Love,
Duck

[previous] [next]