Good Morning Diary,

It turns out that they are doing construction next door every morning of this holiday weekend. So each day I have been woken up by pounding, grinding, men yelling/talking at each other, and other obnoxious noises.

I suppose it's best that Keith is not here, being so fragile, because then he would be unrested as well and I would have to hear about it/deal with it.

It wouldn't be so bad for me, maybe, if I didn't feel the dull ache of cramps every morning and like I've been punched in the chest. No, I don't have it yet, but it's coming... and I'm at the point of building up maximum capacity... feeling like a storm cloud that's filling up and about to burst. And once it comes, the real cramps and discomfort will begin! Great!

So anyway, the noises wake me up every morning and interrupt my dreaming, which is an important part of being me. I can't remember any of my dreams, which bums me out.

I know if I had gone to camp I would have been up five hours ago, and probably would have slept on the floor. So it's a good thing I'm here at home. Today I'm going to plant the remainder of my seeds, and maybe paint my shelf, and try to find a hammer to hang up my print. Look at me, I'm doing house stuff!

But there is good news. After medicating myself last night, I just started jotting down some notes about some presentations and things I had been holding in my head. Soon I was writing and writing all the details, and that spun off into something else, and from there into something else... soon I had six or seven pages of notes, and felt like I had figured out something that I have been trying to figure out for a year. How about that???? I guess I was just blocked in my thinking and once my defenses were down, it all just came flowing out. Of course, it's something I've been praying for too so I'm sure I had a little help... another good reason I didn't go away this weekend! Things would have been way too hectic for me to have that kind of space and time to think!

That in itself gives me a lot of relief... I feel like I can move forward in my work, and maybe make more money... and more than anything that's what I want right now!! I know the Finding A Man thing isn't working, so I might as well pay off some debt, enjoy my work and make a lot of money. Then if I have money, I can at least travel and do fun things by myself! That is not so bad at all!!

Yes, yes, not so bad!

So congratulate me, because I feel that at least in one arena, I have broken through to the other side!

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