Dear Diary,

Today I was dreaming, and smiling while I was sleeping... but I lost the dream, and I had to get up. I was really off balance today. Deposited some money in the bank, sent Delia a (very late) birthday card, picked up some supplies for work and went to work... the whole night I felt like I was swimming through sludge, I'm so tired. And I forgot to pay my rent.

Oops.

Oh well. I'll get on that. Uh, I will.

And, I called Smitten today. Kinda forgot that I told myself I could call him a week after I sent his card... and... he answered. He was really excited to hear my voice, it seemed, and we talked for about a half hour. He said he treated himself to that 10-day trip for his birthday, and had a good time. He says (once again) that he is moving here, and has been talking to Jimmy about scheduling, and just has to finish up some things where he is...

Yeah, I know, we've heard that before. In March. And April. And not really in May because Smitten never called in May.

And uh, yeah, I'm aware of the red flags... he doesn't call much... when we do talk he puts in a lot of inappropriate sexual innuendo... he told me he'd send me a photo or something but didn't... I know he's busy, but? Hm.

On the plus side, he's concerned about me not sleeping, and wants to help. He told me, again, several times, that he thinks I'm beautiful, and thought so as soon as he met me. Hmm. Dare I believe him?

He said he hasn't checked his mail, so he hasn't seen my card yet. I do believe that I'll hear from him when he sees it... cause it's pretty cool.

I guess I just can't figure it out just yet... if he is good for me? If I'm missing something? If I'm cheating myself?

I don't know. It will just have to reveal itself. Seems insane that I cannot just meet someone, like them, and have them like me back? Other people seem to do it on a regular basis.

Today I told Bethany that if Smitten moves in with Jimmy, we can go over in lingerie and seduce both of them and finally get laid this summer.

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