disappointing dream, etc. [ 2009-06-30, 11:15 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

My dream this morning: had something to do with M... what I think is that we were together, and I was calling him sweetie and honey, and he was complying and together with me... but I suddenly had a recognition, like a very strong visceral gut intuition, that he didn't want me. And I felt very rejected, very sad... and I took out my cards and prayed to the Universe to please send somebody to love me right away.

There were other parts of the dream... a big house or retreat center of some sort, lighting candles, and superheros. I can barely remember most of it.

But the disconcerting thing about this dream was that I didn't understand the time frame. Was it past, present, or future? Usually I feel like my dreams are telling me something, but here I don't know... is is a predictive dream, or a dream that reflects the dealings of my psyche? I know part of me doesn't want it to be true. Ugh. The rejection wound...

It has already been a busy day. Woke up, had to try to find a flight while I was on the phone trying to make Steffy feel better. Apparently the new guy she is dating was upset to find out that she sometimes has cold sores- because apparently they are transmissable and can even cause genital herpes? I didn't even know that was true. She did mention to him when she felt like she was getting one, and told him that they shouldn't kiss for a few days. Apparently he was angry that she never mentioned them in the first place, and then she felt like a terrible person.

I told her to stop beating herself up, because it wasn't like she was kissing him and having oral sex and KNOWINGLY keeping the fact that she gets cold sores a secret from him; and she told him IMMEDIATELY when she thought she felt one coming on... so it's not like it was on purpose. And most people just think about talking about STDs, which she did already... so it's not like she did something bad on purpose. And know I guess it's just up to this guy to determine if he can forgive her...

Anyhow. That took some time, and talking to Bethany, and a client that was having some trouble... and now two hours have gone by!

I have to eat something.

Love,
Duck

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