night with the girls [ 2009-07-29, 11:38 p.m. ]

#2

Greetings,

So after I wrote that last entry, I went to Steffy's house, and she made us dinner, and we talked- we had a lot of catching up to do, because I haven't visited in a long time. She told me the disappointing story of her latest drama with a man- that guy never really seemed to recover after the disconnect they had-, and I filled her in on Smitten and all his weirdness regarding tests etc.

Huh. It was nice to just hang with the girls. I was disappointed after not hearing anything from Smitten regarding my test results etc, but later into the night I got a response for my "negative" - "Awesome!!!! Prepare!!!!" Yes, I mean it, he put in just that many exclamation points and everything. Well I certainly will prepare. It's about time my body got some attention...

That email made me smile. I guess I just have to have more patience. My abandonment worries kick in and I fear that every span of time that goes by.... it's over... that person is never coming back. If that sounds insane to you, consider yourself lucky, because this is how people with abandonment disorders feel every day. I know I am getting better, because I do not get as easily devastated and I don't go into deep fear as often. I'm actually understanding how the other half lives. Wow. What a difference.

So now I am home, and tired. I notice I definitely do feel better the more I eat, so I have to stick with that.

I think I'm going to try to sleep... but first, a quick report:

Jerry and I texted back and forth (I asked him to let me know if he was going dancing on Monday night, and he let me know he wasn't- then I proposed another time for us to get together), and I might see him on Sunday. His roommate posted and tagged a photo of us on FB. I noticed that Jerry removed the tag from his name, and then sometime later, the photo was removed completely. But rather than think its me, I think that maybe he just didn't like that picture of himself. Or maybe he doesn't want any evidence of women sitting on his lap. Could be either one.

Mickey texted me a very nonpersonal invitation to another event last week, and I have ignored it.

Have chatted with Blaze a couple times on FB, but neither one of us has suggested a second date.

3:27 Guy texted me last week: "Hey did you get my voicemail?" Uh. How I hate texts. I was so busy over the weekend with Smitten, and Jerry, and my whole drama, that it was several days before I responded, "No, I didn't get any voicemail. How are you? Hope all is well." Then I got another text from him, "When did you send this text message? It's been awhile." Um, okay the last thing I want to text about is TEXTING, dude. I just erased it. It's not a conversation I want to have, and if I was that important enough to 3:27 he would call or make an effort- not only that but he just doesn't have enough self-esteem for me to date him. No thank you.

(and that's something, coming from me).

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